A Water's Fate

The sun was at its zenith when I finally escaped from the suffocating heat of the road. I paused for a moment and leaned my back to an upright log supporting our veranda. What to do next was beyond my consciousness; for the first time, the three systems of my personality were trying to meet reconciliation. It took a grand bell of the grandfather clock for their decision to tap my flesh at last. Then I finally took another step. It seemed that my mouth had released all of its moisture up to its last drip into my soaked T-shirt; my body was exhausted.

After some more steps, I heard a voice from somewhere “Are you okay?” I was not able to locate where the sound was coming, suddenly, I felt another flesh touched mine. The creature grabbed my whole body, gripped it tightly and caressed my hair. After it had let me go, the same flesh pressed a piece of cloth to my forehead down to my neck and back. After the confrontation, I was back into awareness. I noticed a smiling woman with a towel in her hand standing in front of me. My mother grinned more happily when I smiled back to her. She knew that I was not able to catch a good ride home that I had to walk with my umbrella.

Then, I headed directly to our kitchen to quench my thirst. I felt relief as the water entered my body. After drinking, I sat for a while and thoroughly wiped my sweat. I went to my room and changed my clothes. I laid my whole back on my bed, with knees bent so that my feet would touch the floor. I laid there for a while until I lifted my body to hit the bath.

The water was in its usual coldness but relative to the heat of my skin, it was out of the ordinary. The hotness of my temperature attracted me more to the usual coldness of the water. I was being invited to have fun with it, to feel every compound of two hydrogen and one oxygen as it pass through my skin. Finally, right after I had taken my clothes off, I gave in and reveled in to it.

At last, the clear liquid had started its journey as I twisted the tap on. It silently fashioned its flow according the holes in the shower. They all came out in a much-defined manner. They were all in lines, so smooth an order that even light cannot intervene. The silence was first broken when it landed on my head. It was then, I realized, the water was colder than I thought it would be. However, that did not bother me; it excited me more instead.

The water gradually moistened my dry hair. I massaged my hair as the water continued to pass through it.  I rubbed it with my hand, combed it with my hand, messed it again, and finally let the water fix it alone. When I had enough playing with it, I moved to reach a bottle of shampoo. As I tried to even the application of that ooze, I was messing my hair again; when I was done, the water brought it back to order once more.  It was so amazing that the liquid seemed to have its own pair of hands leading to the same direction that my hands could go. If I could just sever the back of my head, I would have seen my own reflection through my lustered hair; I would be more than amazed.

                The moment the water had broken its silence to touch my hair, was almost the very same instant it touched my face. With my eyes, I could see the course that the water was taking as it moved down my body. My lashes were gently curled as the water passed by them. My pores were being filled to the surface. In my face, I distinctively felt its coldness. Then, when it went by my lips, I partly tasted it. In my mouth, it tasted as cold as when I was feeling it with my hands.

                Later on, the water moved to wet my shoulders and the remaining parts of my body, down to my thighs and feet. It was moving so fast as my eyes could see but my mind was slowly feeling every move it made. It passed by every fold in my body, relaxing every single hair along its way. Its journey had entered another phase by then. That time, it had been covering a wider part of my skin. Like the fix it had done to my hair, it also washed away the sticky feeling of hotness and sweat in my body. I moved a complete step again to grab a soap that would replace my not so pleasant smell. It was then, I mixed-up the already-relaxed hairs in my skin. As the water travelled again to rinse my bubble-filled body, it brought back the organization I previously destroyed.

                With shampooed-hair and soaped-body, I felt fresh again. Moisture had finally gone back to my skin, I no longer thirsted for it, and I was already in my satiety. It was not yet the end for I had to finish the task. I twisted the tap in the opposite direction and the water stopped leaking from its source. However, it was not yet a state of equilibrium in the bathroom. I could still feel droplets of water in my skin. The floor was still wet and I could see the water travel down the drain to finally disappear from my sight. The water that fixed my hair on my head was not the same water that relaxed the hairs on my skin. The water that I felt on my face was not the same water that I felt in my hands. The water that washed away the shampoo and the soap were not the same as well. More so, it was not the same water from the kitchen that I drank earlier. Even different was the water that soaked my T-shirt and I called sweat. The water that I had been referring was not entirely the same water after all. One cannot touch the same water twice, for it flows, it gives way to space, it continues to move. The same thing when we take our bath, the water that flows out of the shower and passes by our body is directly brought down the drain, down into the underground system leading to sea. So that when we turn the tap again to take another bath, a new batch of water is being showered onto our skin. The vast ocean is less likely, impossible even to shower you an entirely the same water that you have bathed before. Thus, water is a disposable resource. When it returns to where it came from after we have use it, it is not the same clean and clear water anymore. Given an enough time, nature has its way of recycling it—a process in which humans are considered as intruders, harmful and unwelcomed.

As I moved again to grab a towel, I was just done experiencing another first time bathing.

Imprintang Buhay na Buhay

 

                Sa bawat pag-angat ng kamay upang mailipat ang mga pahina, bagong pangyayari ang sasambulat sa iyong mga mata. Sa bawat pag-angat ng daliri upang masilayan ang sumusunod na parte, panibagong bahagi rin ang iyong matutunghayan. Dalawang magkaibang kasangkapan na nagbibigay ng magkatulad na silbi, ngunit sa kung paanong paraan nila ito ginagawa, silang dalawa ay higit na magkaiba.

                Kasabay ng pag-usad ng panahon at pag-unlad ng teknolohiya sa mundo ay ang pagtutunggali ng mga bagay na nakasanayan at ng mga bagay na panibago. Hindi lumilipas ang isang buwan na walang bagong produktong inilalabas ang napakaraming kompanyang panteknolohiya. Kaakibat nito ay ang lumalakas na interes ng mga tao na magkaroon ng mga bagay na ito.

Dahil sa paglakas ng internet, mistulang hangin na lamang ang naglilipanang mga babasahin sa kompyuter. Iilang pindot  lang, kaunting hintay, at nasa harap mo na agad ang literaturang nais mong basahin. Idagdag pa sa kaginhawaang ito ay ang bahagya lamang na pagpapagalaw ng daliri upang makalipat sa susunod na pahina. Sa modernong panahon, na panahon rin ng mga kompyuters at iba’t ibang bersyon nito, na panahon rin ng mga makabagong tao, may puwang pa kaya ang inimprintang aklat sa mga kamay natin?

                Bata pa man ako noon, madalas ng sabihin ng aking mga magulang ang karunungang naidudulot ng pagbabasa. Dahil sa paniniwalang ito, sa murang edad ay nahimok nila akong gawing hilig ang pagbubuklat ng aklat. Sa pagdaan ng mga panahon, mas lalong nagiging malapit sa aking puso ang pagbabasa. Bihira ang mga buwan na wala akong aklat na pinagsisikapang tapusing basahin. Kinahiligan ko ang mga kwentong pantasya, mga klasikong pambata, mga klasikong pangmatanda, kwento ng pag-ibig, hustisya, pilosopiya, at maging sikolohiya. Ngunit habang tumatanda ako, nadadagdagan din ang mga bagay na kakompetensiya ng pagbabasa. May panahong naging mahirap sa akin ang pagpunta sa tindahan ng mga aklat para makabili ng mga bagong babasahin. Kahit ang paglalakad patungo sa silid aklatan ng aming bahay ay naging pasakit rin. Masyado akong naakit sa kaginhawaang naidudulot ng kompyuter at internet. Sa halip na kumuha ng libro at suriin ang bawat pahina nito, google nalang ang pinupuntahan ko.

                Dahil sa kakulangan ng panahon para maglakadlakad sa aklatan at maghanap ng literaturang gusto kong basahin, agad-agad ko na lamang itong hinahanap sa internet. Pagdating sa internet, itatype ko nalang sa keypad ng aking kompyuter ang titulo ng aklat na hinahanap ko. Pagkapindot ng “search” ay agad kong nakikita ang elektronik na bersyon ng aklat na nais ko. Doon lalabas ang pagkadami-daming resultang maaaring pagpilian. Iilang pindot pa at agad kung nadadownload ng walang bayad ang babasahing ninanais ko. Ngunit, hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon ay libre akong nakakakuha ng elektronik na bersyon ng aklat na gusto ko. May mga pagkakataon na may bayad ito. Kahit na may kamahalan para sa isang aklat na hindi naman nahahawakan, naakit pa rin akong bumili sa ganitong paraan sapagkat hindi ko na kailangang lumabas ng bahay. Ang madalas kong gawin ay ang makisuyo gamit ang credit card ng mabait kong kapatid na hilig rin ang pagbabasa.

                Pagkatapos kong madownload ang aklat na gusto ko, kampante na ako na walang ibang makakakuha nito sapagkat ligtas itong nakatago sa aking kompyuter. Kahit anong oras at panahon, maaari ko itong buksan upang basahin. Hindi ko na kailangang maghanap pa kung saan-saan sapagkat nasa isang lugar lang naman ito—sa aking kompyuter.  Kapag ako’y nakahanda na para sa isang mahabaan at matagalang pagbabasa, maliban sa aking mga mata, daliri ko na lamang ang aking ginagamit sa paglilipat ng pahina. Hindi katulad sa aklat na kailangan pang hawakan ng mahigpit ang kabilang bahagi para lamang baligtarin ang pahina.

                Sa pagbabasa sa kompyuter, hindi na kailangang magtiyaga sa maliliit na sulat. Dito, maari ng baguhin ang laki ng mga letra upang mas madali itong mabasa. Sa proseso ng pagbabago ng laki ng mga ito, daliri rin lang ang kailangang galawin. Hindi katulad sa mga librong nakaimprinta sa papel na kailangan pang gamitan ng lente para lumaki ang itsura ng mga titik; isang napakalaking kaginhawaan ang naidudulot ng pagbabasa sa kompyuter.

                Maliban sa kakayahan nitong baguhin ang laki ng mga titik, ang kompyuter ay may kakayahan ding magbigay ng angkop na liwanag para sa aking pagbabasa. Hindi ko na kailangan ang dekuryenteng ilawan sa ganitong uri ng pagbabasa sapagkat may palagian ng ilaw ang kompyuter. Sa ganitong paraan, nakakabawas ako sa aming bayarin para sa konsumo ng kuryente.

                Bukod sa ginhawang nadadala ng kompyuter sa aking pagbabasa, malaking kaluwagan din ang silbi nito pagdating sa pag-iimbak ng mga babasahin. Hindi ko na kailangang pagsiksikin sa aming aparador ang mga aklat na nabasa ko na. Sa elektronik na bersyon ng aklat, madali itong naitatago sa kompyuter. Pagdating naman sa paghahanap, iilang pindot rin lang ay agad-agad itong lalabas.

                Ibang-iba sa inimprintang libro, ang elektronik na bersyon ng aklat ay maaring maipamigay sa kahit na sino. Gamit ang isang Universal Serial Bus (USB) flash drive, maaari nang makapamigay ng libreng kopya ng aklat sa kahit na ilang kakilala. Hindi katulad ng isang papel na libro na maaari lamang ibigay sa iisang tao.

                Ang mga kombensyong naidudulot ng pagbabasa gamit ang kompyuter ang higit na humatak sa akin na huwag pansinin ang mga nakaimprintang libro. Ang mga ito ay masyadong mabigat, masyadong makapal, masyadong maliliit ang sulat, masyadong madilim ang papel, masyadong mahirap imbakin, masyadong mahal, at higit sa lahat, masyadong nakakapanghinayang para sa isang beses na pagbabasa. Bigla-bigla, dahil sa pagkamulat ko sa mga bagay na naidudulot ng teknolohiya, masyadong naging masyado ang aking pagmamaliit sa mga nakalimbag na libro. Ang mga papel na katulad nila ay nagmistulang ordinaryong parte na lamang ng aking nakakapangyamot na kapaligiran. Ngunit dumating ang araw na hinding-hindi ko inaasahan. Sa araw na iyon, nasira ang pinakamamahal kong kompyuter. Sa isang iglap, nabura lahat ang aking mga elektronik na libro. Ganoon na lamang ang aking panghihinayang sapagkat hindi ko na maipapamana sa kahit na sino ang mga aklat na minsa’y kinahiligan ko. Nasayang ang mga taong inilaan ko sa pag-iipon ng mga ito.

                Ang pangyayaring yaon ang naging hudyat sa kusang pagpihit ng aking atensyon pabalik sa mga aklat na papel. Mahigit dalawang taon na ang lumipas buhat nang mangyari ang kahinahinayang na pangyayaring iyon, at ang pagkahumaling ko sa mga inimprintang libro ay unti-unting nagiging isang adiksyon, kung saan, wala na akong naaaninag na lunas.

                Nagsisimula ang aking “high” sa amoy pa lamang ng isang bagong aklat. Hindi tulad ng elektronik na bersyon nito na kahit anong pagbalibaliktad ang gawin ko ay walang singaw na makakarating sa ilong ko, ang inimprintang libro ay buhay na buhay sa pang-amoy ko. Ito’y nagbibigay ng halimuyak ng tila nabubulok na kahoy. Hindi mabahong alingasaw ang aking naaamoy, kundi para bagang pabango na tanging ang bagong aklat lang ang mayroon.

                Sa bawat pag-angat ng aking kamay upang tumungo sa susunod na pahina, damang-dama ko ang kayarian ng papel na ginamit para sa mga titik nito. Kahit may kahirapaan ang pagbabasa ng malilit na letra, nakakadagdag ang sakripisyong ito upang mas lalo kong madama ang bawat eksena sa aking binabasa. Dito ko mas lalong nabibigyang halaga ang aklat, sapagkat ang pagkakahabi ng bahat pahina nito ay pinaghirapan, at bawat isa nito ay dumaan sa isang naiiba at mahabang proseso. Sa pagdampi ng aking mga palad sa pahina ng aklat, buhay na buhay kong nakakahalubilo ang mga titik. Nararamdaman ng aking daliri ang latak ng tinta sa bawat salita. Medyo may kamahalan man ang halaga ng nakalimbag na libro kaysa sa elektronik na bersyon nito, ‘di hamak na mas sulit ang bayad ko sa aklat na nahahawakan ng mga kamay ko. Wala man itong sariling ilaw na kagaya ng kompyuter, mas malaki naman ang natitipid na kuryente ng paggamit ng pailawan kaysa sa magdamag na nakasaksak na kompyuter. Idagdag pa sa hindi mabuting naidudulot ng pagbabasa gamit ang kompyuter ay ang perwisyong dala nito sa ating mga mata. Ang paglalabas ng radiation mula sa monitor ng kompyuter ay nagiging sanhi ng pagkasira ng ating mga mata, na kalaunan ay maaaring maging sanhi ng paglabo ng paningin.

                Bagama’t may kahirapang imbakin ang mga nakaimprintang libro, walang dudang mas matagal ang buhay ng mga ito kaysa sa elektronik na aklat. Ang dahilang ito ay siya ring lohikang madalas sabihin ng aking mga magulang noong ako’y nagsisimula pa lamang mawili sa pagbabasa. Higit na mas maituturing na kayamanan ang mga librong nahahawakan sapagkat bawat isa sa mga ito’y naging parte ng ating mga araw-araw. Sa aming tahanan, naglaan na ng isang silid para sa mga aklat ang aking mga magulang. Ngayon, tuwing magdaraan ako sa parteng iyon ng aming bahay, napapangiti ako’t nagmamalaking, marami na akong naiambag sa aming koleksyon. Masarap sa pakiramdam na nakikita ko at nahahawakan ang mga aklat na itinuturing ko na ring kayamanan.

                Higit sa pagkagalak na aking nadarama ay ang kasiguraduhang maipapamana namin ang mga aklat na ito sa mga taong magiging parte pa lamang ng aming buhay. Bagama’t hindi na ata mapipigilan ang aking pagkahumaling sa mga inimprintang libro, natitiyak kong, hindi nito kapantay ang pagsabay ko sa modernong panahon. Magbago man ang mga bagay-bagay sa aking paligid, hangga’t may mga taong nais pa ring madama ang kakaibang “tama” ng pagbabasa ng nakalimbag na aklat, mananatiling buhay ang pagkahilig ko sa mga ito. At mananatili rin ang simpatiya ko sa mga aklat na naaamoy, nahahawakan, naitatago, buhay na buhay.

Glow in the Dark

                In a field of darkness, what stands out to be noticed is the only source of light in the scene. I love glow in the dark objects because of their ability to catch attention in the dark. They may not be useful in illuminating an entire room, but in the dark, they remain the only thing special when everything around is ordinary. It is a matter of contrast; you cannot know the centerpiece if everything looks like the background. Then, there will be nothing special about that scene—plain ordinary.

                To be noticed is what has driven a number of people to break away from the background. This will has fueled thousands of men and women to stand up when most are sitting, to move when most are stationary, to shout when most are quite. It was what drove the people in history to stand up and against. It is what has been driving people to glow in the dark.

                During the time of Ptolemy, it was regarded that the Sun and all other planets were revolving around the Earth. This geocentric model lasted up until the middle ages and it was considered the authoritative text in astronomy. There was one man who went against this belief. He challenged the idea of the Earth as the cosmological center of all heavenly bodies. He refused to settle on this notion and conducted his own investigations instead. Nicolaus Copernicus asserted that the Earth is just one planet that revolves around the sun within a year. His heliocentric model that was finally published during the year of his death gained few patrons at first. Despite this, interest in knowing more about the set up outside our planet had increased. Started by Copernicus, a number of rebels were born to challenge the geocentric model of the cosmos.

                Another great man, a supporter of Copernicus, paved heliocentrism to a higher level. Galileo and his invention of the telescope almost shut down the geocentrism theory of Ptolemy. His rebellion brought him to an undeserved fate. He was condemned by the Roman Catholic church for blatantly revealing that the Sun and not the Earth is the center of the universe. He died suffering a punishment that he was not worthy of having. He stood up against what was the belief of everyone else. He chose to go against the belief of the church that the Earth is the center of the cosmos as stated by the Bible. And it was when he shone brighter in the dark; and the brightest when his claim was proven scientifically true. Like all other scientists, he has his own stone replica in most institutions in the world. He rebelled and succeeded.

                There were also moments in our history when rebellion did not only account for battles against beliefs but also for fights against oppression. When people could not let themselves drown into submissiveness to an authority, when people could not bear the agony of being restricted is when people start to break free. Together with 800 katipuneros, Andres Bonifacio attacked the Spanish arsenal in San Juan del Monte. It was the first fight during the 1869 to 1898 Philippine revolution. The news of the attack spread in Luzon provinces nearby. It followed several other uprisings in different places in the country. It followed other Filipinos to stand for freedom, some used their intellect and connections. The revolution ended, the Filipino people succeeded. Now, we have our famous heroes, whose lives and achievements are taught in school, whose morals and patriotism are modeled by the society.

                Men dominated our list of rebels and heroes. For a long time, it seemed that women were the inferior sex—weak, fragile, dependent, and almost useless. Until my kind were driven by an impetus to be recognized. My class rebelled for equal rights and opportunities. During this rebellion, feminist movements were born, women started to stand up against a world dominated by men. It was not an easy revolution, our claims were rejected and took a long time to be accepted. We were once ignored, until we finally ignited and succeeded glowing in the dark. With constant effort, finally, we were given the right to vote, we were given the right to work, we were given the right be ourselves.

                The battle of the sexes continues, we are now on the second wave of revolution. Lesbians Gays Bisexuals Transgenders (LGBTs) are also revolutionaries. In a culture where it is assumed that there are only two genders, LGBTs are having difficulty in finding themselves. Instead of going with the general assumption, they have chosen to unleash the rainbow within them. They are the kind that catches attention in a crowd full of ordinary people. They become extraordinary. They glow in the dark.

                We do not only break gender stereotypes, we are also rebels in our own traditions. My family is a rebel in this kind of way. Mine broke one during a wedding ceremony. My aunt longed picture herself in a long white dress, slowly walking in an aisle full of white flowers with my grandfather guiding her towards the altar, following her steps are little children in colorful dresses, farther are her friends in uniformly cut dresses. It was her dream wedding. It was a tradition that she could not imagine of breaking. It was purely unforeseen when she met the man of her dream. She wore a white beach dress. Her hair was accessorized with shells. The bouquet of flowers in her hand was made to settle in dried seaweeds. Instead of walking dramatically, she moved toward her groom with a very enthusiastic glee. With the tune of a party song, her bride’s maids entered as if they were about to perform a dance number. After the ceremony, her wedding was the talk of the town. Several single women in our place admired it. People praised their creativity as a couple. She was counted as one rebellious bride.

                There is another rebellion that most of us are guilty of committing. We are rebels against fashion. We do not always conform to the trend. When everyone else is doing the same things, we feel this urge to stand out. We want to be the celebrated among the bunch of mediocre individuals. Thus, we strive to create our own way of doing things; we develop our own fashion. We want to show ourselves, our uniqueness. This way, we are all rebels against a common image. Turning away from what the society expects is rebellion. Breaking away from the trend is rebellion. When we succeed, we have triumphed in magnifying and glorifying that kind of rebellion. It has attained a glamour so inviting, a nucleus that stirs people toward it. In turn, you, the initiator becomes famous as well because you have glowed in the dark.